My life with the Lord has been so up and down. So off and on. He has always been the faithful One, loving me back into his waiting arms.
Even after turning from a life of sin, I was paralyzed by shame for nearly a decade. It's crazy when I think back on it. A DECADE OF SHAME. Not ten minutes. Not ten days. Not ten months. Ten years. And here's what I know...
I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because those ten years were not in vain. They were not wasted. They were used by God to shape and mold me; to draw me closer to Him than I'd ever been before.
All glory to God I didn't lay down in my shame and accept it.
I battled it every day. I knew it wasn't right. I longed for freedom. A deeply spiritual war was raging in my heart and mind. My rational mind knew the truth of God's love for me, but my wavering heart was susceptible to self-destructive thoughts, lies of Satan, and the haughty looks and words of the self-righteous. That's a big stinkin' mess to clean up! And boy oh boy, did I ever want God to wipe it all clean in the blink of an eye. I knew he could. But did that mean he should?
If God stepped in and cleaned up the mess I made, without me joining him in the hard work of sorting through the clutter, the junk, and finding the treasures, my freedom wouldn't mean half as much to me as it does now. It wouldn't have birthed a passion in me for seeing others set free from whatever has them bound. It wouldn't have given me life lessons to pass on to my children about repentance, forgiveness, humility, praying for enemies, obedience ahead of emotion, spiritual warfare, and so much more.
Without the battle, I would've missed out on the most beautiful thing I've experienced in my life. Loving Jesus and being absolutely free to be loved by him.
Every struggle is an opportunity for growth. Every battle is an opportunity for victory. We may sometimes waver. We may be up today and down tomorrow. But we must never lie down in acceptance or defeat. Let's grab the sword of the Spirit, God's Word. Let's get on our faces and exercise the power of prayer. The faithful One will prove himself faithful every time, loving us back into his waiting arms.
"..the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."
2 Thessalonians 3:3
