I've Been Set Free..

Sometimes I think I haven't come very far in my walk with the Lord because I'm too focused on what I'm still NOT doing, what I still SHOULD BE doing, or what character flaws and bad habits are still too present in my life. I can certainly relate to the apostle Paul when he says:

I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate. - Romans 7:15

I'm learning that freedom in Christ is something for which I must continually fight. Over the past decade, I've grown by leaps and bounds in my love for and knowledge of the Lord Jesus. I learned to be thankful for the deep and long-term shame I experienced because it drove me to Christ over and over and over in attempt to be FREE of it! My shame was a gift.

I don't believe that God intended for me to feel shame or wanted me to be stuck in it for nearly a decade. Not at all. He was there all along doing his part, whispering and sometimes shouting the truth of his love and grace, patiently waiting for me to finally get it - and be free. Without that intense struggle, I wouldn't have experienced the kind of overwhelming hunger for him that essentially consumed my life.

And then it happened. FREEDOM. It seemed so sudden once I finally accepted the incredible news that Christ had indeed set me free. But in truth, it wasn't sudden at all. It was a slow, grueling, painful, beautiful (his beauty, not mine) life-changing process.

What I've learned over the past few years is that I must continually fight to remain free. Not necessarily in the area of shame. That battle has been won. That truth has taken firm hold - praise Jesus! It's a new battle, and in some ways a more difficult battle. But I press on...because it is for FREEDOM that Christ set me FREE. - Galatians 5:1

No words

It feels so strange that I haven't blogged much since returning from Cambodia last summer. Honestly, when I got back to the U.S., all I wanted to do was turn around and go back to Cambodia. I still do. And though I haven't talked about it much, the people of Cambodia are on my heart and in my mind all the time - especially the girls who are part of the CGI programs. There are days when my husband and I talk about living there someday, and we aren't joking.

I've asked God to forgive me for my silence. I feel as though I've failed the girls by keeping so quiet since I've been home. It's not something I can even explain because I don't understand it myself...my silence, that is. Even now, I'm mostly at a loss for words so I'll let these pictures speak for me.







Needless to say, I'd hop on a plane any day of the week to spend time with these precious ones again. Father, may the love of your son Jesus spread like wildfire through this land...setting the hearts of the Cambodian people on fire and filling them with the power of your Spirit.